The first batch

No that's not a Gremlins reference. Well, it sort of is. You'll see.

This is a sample of what I'm looking for. Or what I've found that baffles me. The largest double yoo tee effs are by far the images of people hugging their cats, the shots of male torsos, fatties with their tongues out (I'm a fatty too, but my tongue stays in my mouth or else the Jabba the Hut potential goes through the roof), the mega pixelated people that all end up looking like Admiral Ackbar, and of course the man-whores and the skanks that love them. All train wrecks apply.

The first subject is Torso Joe. I have to assume this is all the same guy. How many human beings could be out there that have bodies composed of nothing but a torso? Apparently hundreds. I mean why the fuck would you want to see the face of the man that is potentially going to get you wasted and try and bang you in the Chili's bathroom?



Then there's the Pixelated Posey/Peter. We are all baffled as to how they fucked this up. This shit looks like they are using Prodigy to connect to the internet. I expect this from my 71 year old father. Not this guy.



Next up, the cat huggers. I have no witty nick name for the cat huggers yet. Just hundreds of photos of people hugging their cats, looking to get laid.

Jabba the single. I know, I'm fat so I'm supposed to be fat positive. I have zero issues with being fat, people that are fat, all that shit. I am pretty much only attracted to people with some fat. Just a preference. I do have issues with fat people worsening the cause by hanging their tongues out of their mouths like they are using their tongues like a snake to seek out some ham. It just couldn't be less flattering. For some. No. For most. Also, this single lady (?) has the double whammy of unfuckability with being both a Jabba the Single, and a Pixelated Posey.

Most of the people that feel the need to show off individual tattoos via dating sites have the worst tattoos. Ever. What in the mother of fuck is this?



The WLBTW? version of "If they made it"
Click the image for the payoff

The irony of post one

I just hung up the phone with a girl I met via the internet. How fitting that it lead me here. Well, it's not fitting. It's ironic. Because that was without a doubt the best first conversation I've ever had with a person ever. Plus she's hot. Double plus good.

So, welcome to my blog. To get this out of the way, this is gonna get snarky. That's the point. I want it to be perfectly clear that I am part of this group. I might have more technological know-how, no cats to hug, no photos of just my torso, more social abilities, or maybe a better idea of aesthetics, but I'm still one of you/them. The internet daters and datees. I've put up my fair share of awful photos on dating sites to try and convey a certain message or boast a part of my personality. I'm going to share one of them as well. I am one of the pool.

My inspiration for this blog came from the lovely young lady that runs date wrecks. Without her I'd of never thought of doing this. While she focuses more on the total ad, or the total train wreck of a date she's had, I'm only focused on the initial hello. The how do you do. The photo.

If you see something tragic, something that makes you go "oh my god that poor girl/guy" or something just plain ooky on a dating site, send it my way. I'll make good use of it.

And if you're curious about the title of the site, it'll all come in time. Trust me. It's worth the wait.

Enjoy the ride. It's gonna be a good one.